Odd Stuff Moms are Wont to Say

My friend Sheila Hall and I have been know to chat and Google Hangout. We end up saying very weird things because we are both moms we don’t even question what the other says. Its so much fun.
She was nice enough to transcribe our funny sayings on Monday. Here it is.

Odd Stuff Moms are Wont to Say

Mari and I have a number of things in common. We are writers, made of awesomesauce, and love to read. One of the biggest is that we are both moms: with kids that cannot, for the life of them, allow any deviation from their own attention. Keeping this in mind, we have had some interesting conversations that are occasionally interrupted with the odd comment to our offspring.

If you are not a parent, you may worry about some of the things that were said. Trust me, they are fine. We also are not deranged, no matter how it may appear to the outsider. If you are a parent… well, I am sure the stuff that comes out of your mouth is just as hilarious.

1. “Please get off my head.”

2. “I don’t enjoy being shot. Move your gun.”

3. “Stop tucking in your underwear.”

4. “Stop licking your leg.”

5. “Don’t eat the blanket. I don’t care how much fiber is in it.”

6. “Go be crazy over there.”

7. “No, I don’t know if Hansel (from Hansel and Gretel) is a diabetic.”

8. “Don’t strangle yourself.”

9. “If you keep this up, Mommy is going to need a time out.”

10. “Leave your hole alone!”

11. “I need to poke you.”

12. “Please don’t throw the guns anymore.”

13. “I am NOT smelling your hands!”

14. “Because Wiki said so.”

Which is your favorite? What weird things have you said to your kids? Can you tell what I said or what Sheila said?