Chat with a Kitchen Witch


Nicohle responded to my “Where My Witches At?” queries. We chatted and agreed to a few posts. When she sent me this entry, I was amazed, it felt like we were chatting over a cup of tea or coffee (or in my case both, coffee then tea).
Thank you Nicohle for a wonderful chat, and being a part of witch month.

Here you all go, a chat with a Kitchen witch about being a kitchen witch.

“Double, Double Toil and Trouble;
Fire burn and Cauldron bubble.” – Shakespeare, Macbeth

In an era of movies such as “Practical Magic”, “The Coven”, and “Hocus Pocus”, a lot of people forget that magic, in it’s essence, is simply ritual. The flash of powder into a fire, or the smell of acrid smoke, none of that is necessary. Kitchen Witchery, when it boils down to it, is belief and process. That’s it. You believe that what you’re doing will work. You research the process. You complete the process. And then, magic happens. These are the rules a kitchen witch lives by.

Oh, that’s not to say you can just believe a ‘wingardium leviosa’ will get that dusty old box down from the attic, of course. But belief in what you’re doing will get you just about anywhere. As a saleswoman, when I’m selling a piece of jewelry, I believe that this is the right piece for my guest, and that this piece will be going home with them. Most of the time? I’m right! As an author, I believe that my book will find like-minded individuals. Of course, everyone knows I’m right on that one, don’t we?

There are thousands of reasons to practice Kitchen Witchery, so I’ll give you a small dose of my own. That way, perhaps, you can decide if it’s right for you. After all, if you choose a path that isn’t for you, you can do things that might permanently hurt you, emotionally, mentally, or karmically. It’s always best to weigh your options before you decide on something.

When I was young, my mother hopped from religion to religion, as if searching for something that would lead her to salvation from the life she’d lead. I’d jump with her, suffering through baptism after baptism, sermon after sermon, none feeling like anything more than a thin flea-ridden blanket against the cold of existance.

The summer of my twelfth year, we finally got a computer. This computer lead to an explosion of information in my family (and a chatroom addiction for myself), which lead to my mother joining several groups. Don’t ask me how this lead her to the wiccan/pagan community, but the fact is, she took us children with her. That summer, I wrote my first book of shadows, which was mostly just printed out pages from the group-archives, 3-hole-punched, and then handwritten when I had the time. Rituals, lists of meanings for stones and herbs, prayers to goddesses three-fold and lords of the hunt. My personal favorites were the guided-meditations that took me into Faeryland.

So like the ancient witches of old, I was brought into paganism by my mother. However, I was left to develop my very own personal beliefs, my own ideology and theology. This is how I came upon kitchen witchery. The few times my family, acting as a little coven, performed big, powerful rituals, I felt out of place. Constantly worried that I would mess it up somehow, or upset the gods we spoke with. But when cooking, I would count out turns of three, left, right, left, and the meals would be more delicious. At least, to me. Giving small gifts away brought back three fold returns. All Hallow’s Eve was more exciting when one was giving away candy, because you never knew who it was at the door; a spirit? A god?

I am a kitchen witch, because making a good stew to help with a cold feels right. I am a kitchen witch, because drying orange peels to make a charm for success has never seemed silly to me. I am a kitchen witch, because the subtle, simple things make me happiest, and feed my spirit. And that’s what’s important in any religion, belief system, or practice. Do what feeds your spirit.

You might be asking now, well, how can you be a kitchen witch? What do you do? Let me give you a small recipe for Kitchen Witchery, and a few resources as well. That way, you too can start your journey to simple, joyful practice.

The Kitchen Witch
1 part Recipes – Hand written, found on the internet, full of herbs and symbolism.
2 parts Rituals – Carefully planned, simple and devoted.
5 parts Belief – Well-thought out, Well-studied, and Well-worn.
3 parts Karma – What is given will come back three fold. Good, bad, and indifferent.
1 part Knowledge – Gathered freely all around the internet, from other practitioners and from books.
Gather Knowledge and combine appropriate bits with belief, separating out the bad from the good by carefully studying each kernel. This can be accomplished by watching and testing each kernel, to make sure that it fits what needs to be in the recipe.
Combine Recipes, Rituals, and Belief every day, in small doses. For spice, you can add Family, Friends, and Gifts to taste. Make sure that these ingredients fit well with the taste of the recipe, or it might turn sour.
Take care with the Karma, and add it to the bowl, stirring slowly and carefully, while thinking about what it is you wish to accomplish. Not what you wish to gain, but what you wish to accomplish. Make sure to take your time with this step, because you can never mix it too well.
Blend everything together, and make every day. A delicious sweet comfort food that is sure to make your life better every single day!
As you can see, a lot of fun can be had. Kitchen Witchery is nothing overly dignified, and certainly isn’t the kind of religion that requires massive ceremony. In fact, anyone can be a practicing kitchen witch, without any sign. The difference, however, between this sort of Witchery and Wiccanism, or other forms of paganism is just that. Simplicity.

A normal Wiccan/Pagan ritual requires things like candles, circles, calling upon gods and spirits and beasts. A normal Kitchen Witch ritual requires a small chant, a few deep breaths, and the right thoughts. The acronym KISS works very well for Kitchen Witchery. Keep it Simple, Silly. If you need good luck? Look up a few good crystals for it, and wear them. Need health? Add a few herbs to your dinner, or drink good tea.

For those Christians who might be reading this, please be aware, that any kitchen witch might believe in any god. Yes, there might be those who believe in the Christian Yahweh. In the end, Kitchen Witchery has to do with the old ways. The old witches who gave out poultices and teas to heal illness.

So how do you know if you’re a kitchen witch? Simple. Does it feel good, when you stand in the morning light, to whisper a small thank you while sipping a nice tea? Do you enjoy picking herbs from your garden, or thinking about how healthy your family will be, once you feed them this nice meal? Is there a small happiness that grows, when those you love are healthy and happy and wise? This is how a Kitchen Witch lives. This is what she thrives on. And once you find yourself in those pointy-toed-shoes and mumbling over a boiling pot, often times? You’ll feel even more powerful than Dumbledore or Gandalf.
Crystal Meanings
http://meanings.crystalsandjewelry.com/a-to-z-list-of-crystal-meanings/
https://crystal-cure.com/gemstone-meanings.html
Herb uses
http://www.cookinglight.com/cooking-101/essential-ingredients/all-about-herbs-slideshow
http://www.spiritualspells.com/herbs-book.html
Good Witchery Sites
http://www.spiritualspells.com/
http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/pagantraditions/p/KitchenWitchery.htm
http://www.kitchenwitchcorner.com/

Here’s Nicohle’s twitter: https://twitter.com/NicohleC
And blog: http://www.nchristopherson.com

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2 thoughts on “Chat with a Kitchen Witch

  1. Karen Soutar says:

    Great post! Thanks, Nicohle and Mari. xx

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