Friday Fictioneers 1/18/2013

Friday Fictioneers time. Please go check it out. It is great and so much fun. It will stretch your writing skill and creativity.

There is a Facebook Page

Genre: Mainstream


“Jake, honey, how many times have I asked you not to play with mommy’s things?”
He looked up at me. The crayons fell out of his little pudgy hands.
His chubby little cheeks reddened, tears filled his eyes.
“This is all I have left Jacob. I don’t want to forget Papa.”
The tears rolled down his cheeks, his little hand reached up for me, gripping at my skirt.
“Momma.” He whimpered.
I picked him up and held him close.
“This is my papa. He used to hold me like this when I small like you.”
Jacob smiled. ”Papa,” he cooed.

Word Count: 100


37 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers 1/18/2013

  1. billgncs says:

    cooed is such a nice word to describe a small child’s voice.

  2. Sandra says:

    A nice gentle piece. Good one.

  3. Nice one, Mari. Tender, poignant and very sweet.

  4. Mari, your story is filled with love and I very much enjoyed it. It put a smile on my face and joy in my heart.

  5. tedstrutz says:

    100 Words of Wonderful, Mari,… Brought to mind the feeling I felt, when I held my Granddaughter and remembered holding her Mom the same way.

  6. I love the embrace as explanation to the little boy,

  7. elappleby says:

    You paint your picture of a toddler beautifully, from the pudgy hands to the pulling at the skirt. Brings back memories of mine when they were little. Lovely.

  8. boomiebol says:

    I had an awww…after reading this. Very well done Mari

  9. wmqcolby says:

    Awwww. Very, VERY sweet. Nice read. Thanks, Mari!

  10. Hi Mari,
    Sweet story. Nice mother-son interaction. Ron

  11. Sweet story. I loved the ending of him being held in her arms. I can just see and feel the tears down his face. Nicely done, Mari.

  12. annisik51 says:

    Thanks for visiting my story. Never had children, but understand the story as I talk in this way to my cat like your character spoke to her child and my cat answers (in her way) like the child too! Good characterisation. Poignancy an undercurrent. Ann

  13. shellyfaber says:

    Very moving story. Regards, Shel.

  14. nightlake says:

    this was so very sweet

  15. YJ says:

    Children greave at the loss of a love one as well. Nicely done.

  16. rich says:

    aww. poor sad boy, but not so poor boy because he has her, and she seems wonderful. well done.

  17. Ugh. Heartbreaking. And in 100 words. Bravo.

  18. Very sweet story filled with emotions.

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