The beginning


My mystery novel … “Secrets of Sathan” was put on hold to work on NaNo.

I thought you may like to read a little so I decided to give you the first three paragraphs.

 Haylee sat on the bar stool that was pulled up against the counter. She watched her mom move around the stove as she prepared dinner; the steaks sizzled, as she laid them into the hot pan. “I don’t know what to do Haylee. We have been here long enough, we’re all settled. You have friends here.” She started chopping vegetables. Haylee’s eyes wondered up the pale yellow wall. She stared at the wallpaper border at the top of the wall. She thought of the sunflowers that grew wild on John Wayne Road in the spring. She remembered of all the times she would drive on that stretch of road with her dad, when he was teaching her to drive. They would drive thirteen miles south to a closed café.  She would pull into the gravel parking lot; a chain link fence enclosed the white brick building. Her father would sigh when he saw the closed café. She would turn and drive back home.

     “Haylee?” Her mom said curtly, calling her out of her happy memory and back to the moment.  

     Haylee shook her head, “Sorry mom. I was thinking about the wild sunflowers back home.”   Her mother smiled as she remembered her own memories.  

     “This is home now, Haylee.” Her voice wasn’t as convincing as she hoped it would be.  

     “It can’t ever be home.” She answered shaking her head, then propping her right elbow on the counter and rested her head in her cupped right hand.   Her left index finger doodled invisible patterns in to the Formica.

      “Is it because. . . “ She couldn’t find the words to finish.

Her eyes welled with tears.   

Haylee jerked her head up, “No! Mom, please don’t!” Her mother turned around, her right  hand wiping at her face.”It’s not that.  I miss him. We all miss him and if. . . . We wouldn’t be here, in Sathan. We’d still be at home in Maricopa.”  

     “We have to move on, Haylee,” her eyes filled with tears, “he would’ve wanted it that way.”

Haylee pulled the steaks out of the pan and placed them on the cutting board to rest.

     “What can we or you do to make sure this ends now? I can’t have Principle Reynolds calling me at work.”  

Haylee sat back down. “I’m trying mom. I do all of my lessons.” She  dropped her head on  the counter and folded her arms over her head.  

     “I want you to keep a planner. I want to check you lessons every night before you go to sleep. Your principle thinks that you may be ADD.”  

     “What! Why didn’t any of my teachers in Maricopa think that?”

     “She said the teachers probably didn’t catch it in Maricopa.”

Haylee rolled her eyes.

      “Seriously Haylee, I don’t have the time for this. If this doesn’t end soon; I’m not going to let you volunteer at the senior citizen home anymore.”

      “Mom!” 

So what do you think? Do you want to read more? Any advice how to make it stronger? Leave me your comments or advice. 

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8 thoughts on “The beginning

  1. riverpearl says:

    Now I’m hungry! 🙂

  2. Wow! A teen that enjoys volunteering! I do want to read more. Nice dialogue.

  3. hastywords says:

    I love this and want to read more. Keep me updated…I would buy!

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